I am Sam's inability to communicate

its been awhile since i had someone to talk to about issues in my head. so at this moment the online journal seems like the best option to see my thoughts laid out before me. the pressing matter as always is a subject of relations with those around me. i suppose the biggest one that concerns me at the moment would be that laura, my ex-girlfriend of a year had sexual relations with what used to be my best friend and roommate zack. this all was brought to my attention by chelsea who i am sure is desperate for my love and attention and will never be the recipient of either. the only details i have to run in my head will be that they had sex twice and on seperate dates. this would explain the withdrawl that i have experienced from zack and most surprisingly its the deception from laura that i have endured. i wonder if i have hurt people as i am hurt now through the people that i have slept with. maybe i have but either way i seem to put blinders on so harshly that i never see these things till they are placed firmly before my eyes. professor hawley was right. i must focus on the next step. focus